not a bed

:::tap, tap on fuzzy head:::

Excuse me, Kodi? See this thing here? This is NOT A BED. This is a lovingly handspun, handknit sweater, blocking peacefully on the floor. Its periphery is punctuated by T-pins, which I would think might suggest to you that it's not meant for lounging on. In case this left any doubt in your mind, I have clarified the issue by surrounding it with laundry baskets in an effort to make clear that this is NOT A BED. It's not a doggy bed. It's not a human bed. It is NOT A BED.

Do not wag your adorable corkscrew tail at me like that. We are not playing games here. Do you hear me? This is NOT A BED. Yes, I still love you. No, I have not knit you a bed. See that floor there? That's your bed. Now go chase some flies or something. I have been swatching and am a bit crazed with a flurry of ideas, but one thing is crystal clear: THIS IS NOT A BED.